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The Hit

My cousin Daphne, a real lost soul that one is, yet, I can’t really think that with a straight face now can I. Shit, I guess I can…I, done so much worse now, hadn’t I. Anyhow, she saw me take out Jimmy the Snitch. It wasn’t planned to go down like it did, that’s for sure. But there I was, cleaning up and who walks by the motel room, yep Daphne. Kind of funny actually, there I am knee deep in bone and blood and she’s standing there in some fishnet tramp suit, lipstick smeared and all, just sitting there and watching me. What do I do, I start yelling and screaming at here, threatening to tell her ma what a whore her little girl turning out to be. That’s when she said, “go head call Ma, but just to make things fair, you do, I hit 911,” touché was all I could come up with.

Now, not that you all gonna shed no tear for me or anything, but I’m trying to get this blood out the carpet and she’s going on and on about how much I make, how’d I learn, any openings….blah, blah, blah…so I said, “if you wanna learn go find a mop or something”

So that’s how my cousin daphne switched careers. Guess, in a way, was fortunate for her. That was her last John, while two days later that trick killer started his slash-dance through slutsville, hitting all the local dives, including that fine establishment she was just at.

So, Daphne aint’ the best yet, nah, not nearly, and she’s a bit too ambitious too. I keep nittin at her to slow things down, go spend some time in the alleys picking off the bums, perfecting craft and all, but she wants the greenbacks. The other night took her on a gig wit’ me, east side, big Eye-Tal-Yan spot, lots of good fellas and guidos around, enough hair gel to start a fire, a really damned big one too. Joey Clack Clack Do-Re-Mi, sometin like that, he was this big fat shit who runs numbers for Bobby Biscuit, who was the target. But the thing is, no one seen Biscuit for months, been hiding out low, running real intricate shit, coded messages and only clack clack and Tony Talladega, they the only two that seen him, and been at a different spot each night too…so figure we’d catch a ride with Clack Clack.

You see, I heard it was pay-up night for Clacks, and knowing Biscuit like I do, figured he’d still be keepin up on his accounts, so like I figured, the call came in and old clack-clack got up off his fat ass and pedaled on down to district four, then back out to two to three and then, as funny as it is, right back to Paisons, name o’ that spot we was just at. Clacks was all out the breath by time he got up dem stairs, and we snuck in on after.

We waited till clacks went back on down and snuck in through the escape. We snuck on through the house until we found Bobby B hanging out all covered in white stuff, Daph asked, “that coke,” and knowing Bobby B like I do, “nah, we in luck, take a wiff…” I told her, “Is that, smells like amaretto” she whispered back, “yep, making his famous biscotti,” I filled in the blanks, adding, “and looks like some espresso’s ready to brew as well…

The hit wasn’t very glamorous like you see on TV, kind of boring actually. You see, turns out Bobby was hiding out from his mother-in-law, and although we didn’t then, she was probably the one that put out the hit. He banged megan, that shot girl from Lopes, that latino club, and she went on braggin’ how she got herself a real gansta, well that don’t sit well with mrs. B, no, not at all, but she aint got the balls to question Bobby herself, so like normal, she called that roller pin toting hag…anyhow, I was gonna sit down with B for a bit, shoot the shit and try to figure things out, maybe get him out to Canada or someplace, but Daphne, eager as she was, pulled out the glock and started waving it all over the flat…

Bobby may be a gangster, made man and all, but he aint the violent type really, he talks a great game, and no one’d wanna mess with him, so no one did, but he aint really all about the roughing up bit, his joy is food, cooking up mean dishes too I hear. Actually had these Biscotti bunch times before, he’d pass em’ round the pool hall lots of time, bragging his skills up and all…but before had a chance to work things out, there was my cousin, acting more trailer park than hitter…and poor bobby, well his heart just gave out right there, boom, all done no bullets, no confrontation…

Daphne went to grab a biscotti and make some espresso, but we didn’t have the time now, but there, right there, was his recipe, that much was too good to let go…and in fact, it’s the type of thing that gets you pinched.

Six months later, there I was, out of the business, opened up a little joint, west end. Had lots of customers, till Bald Sheila wandered in as she passin by, saw me in my apron and said she had to stop…Old Sheila was one of Bobby’s side dishes and the minute I saw her head tilt back and sniffing like a dog do, I knew I was done for. And yep, she knew, I knew, and she knew I knew that she knew. Didn’t have a piece anywhere near me neither. So tried keeping things cordial, but Sheila took me down with that tiny thing in her purse. Luckily for me she wasn’t as good a shot as she was a bloodhound…

I had to close the joint down, turn states on bunch a people and they got me out in Oregon. Been like this for a few years since. And they got me working stock at a local hardware spot. Aint life like I was used to, but, can’t really complain…that was until today. Came home from doing a double and when I walked through my apartment door, I could smell the amaretto in the air, and about same time I saw Daphne sitting there in the chair, gun pointing right at me…

…and you’s all thought us types were big into family like that…


About hobgoblin2011

I'm a poet and aspiring screenwriter/songwriter with a passion for film, art, photography, philosophy and heavy metal. I love reading, mainly non-fiction, comic books, graphic novels, myth and reference. Family always comes first for me. I'm a proud father to two wonderful pups and two curious cats. I'm also a glutton for punishment aka the life of being a diehard Buffalo Bills and Sabres fan.

2 responses »

  1. It felt like watching a film noir. I enjoyed it. 🙂


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